Numb
by tvnut014
Summary: SPOILERS FOR MARIONETTE. Feeling hurt, and betrayed, Olivia spends a night at the office, dwelling on the events of the previous couple of days. T for the slightest bit of language. Oneshot.


**SPOILERS for Marionette, and I guess the rest of season 3. Originally written as apart of a 100 Drabbles challenge. Olivia is trying to deal with Peter's betrayal. This is just a quick oneshot of Olivia's POV so it doesn't include poor Peter's side of it all. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own this lovely show. This brilliant, fantastic show. Nor Joshua Jackson.  
**

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Numb

Olivia sat at the desk in her office, flipping through a newspaper to get to the classified section. She began skimming the pages for apartment ads. She had decided to stay at the office late, to get some work done. Once she had finished the paperwork, she had opened that day's newspaper. Although she knew that Fauxlivia had in fact been in her office at one point or another, if she was anything like Olivia, Olivia knew that Fauxlivia barely worked in her office. Olivia felt that her office was the only place that Fauxlivia had been the least.

Olivia drew in a breath sharply. One of the apartments for rent was located a mere three blocks away from Peter and Walter's house. At the thought of Peter, a dull ache began in the pit of her stomach. They hadn't had a case in over two days. It gave her an excuse not to see him. The last case she and Peter had worked together, the one after the reanimation case, Olivia realized that she couldn't look Peter in the eyes anymore. The first day of the case, he had given her space, for which she had been grateful. But the second day, she had noticed he had begun to stand near her. She almost couldn't handle it. She had barked short answers to any questions Peter had directed at her, the ones she couldn't ignore. She went over the profile of the suspect with Astrid instead of Peter. She tried to avoid him in every way possible, even relying on Walter to relay messages to Peter, taking the chance that Peter may never get them. Unfortunately for Olivia, Walter's memory was improving and Peter seemed to get every work related message she sent his way. The messages he wouldn't receive, those ones about leaving her alone, he seemed to deliberately ignore.

She needed to get out of her apartment, traces of _her_ were _everywhere_, but moving anywhere near Peter wouldn't be worth it the move. She realized that she was acting like she was avoiding an ex-boyfriend, though they had never actually gone out. No, instead he had fallen for her look-alike, her double, her doppelganger. Not that she could, or should blame him. Like she had told him, she understood all of the facts. But she couldn't help but feel replaceable, insignificant. How could he not have known? She had asked him that, but she hadn't asked him the real question that had been circling her mind.

How could he have known that she wasn't the real Olivia, after all he said he noticed the differences, and not have cared? Just accepted it, not have questioned it? He said he chalked it up to the new relationship, but could it have been more? Did the other Olivia have the qualities that Peter found himself attracted to in the first place, but with less baggage? Fauxlivia was less 'intense'. What the hell did that mean, anyway?

Olivia shook the thought from her mind. It didn't matter. She couldn't let herself dwell on this any longer than she already had. The point was Olivia thought she was going insane seeing, speaking to, and_ kissing_ a hallucination, a shadow of a man, when that man was willing to settle for a shadow of her. The ache in her abdomen intensified.

She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her desk, burying her fingers in her hair. Drops of water hit the newspaper that was lying in front of her on her desk.

Shit. She was crying.

Olivia wanted to so badly to compartmentalize her feelings about the situation. She did not want her feelings to affect her professional work life. Olivia had a sneaking suspicion that, at the last crime scene, Broyles had noticed the silence between her and Peter. If the two would continue to not communicate with one another, Broyles would be forced to remove one of them from the team. Broyles wouldn't remove his best agent from the field; Olivia worried that he would instead remove Peter from the team. Without Peter, Walter would refuse to work with the FBI. Without Walter, Olivia would not be able to find a solution to find peace between the two worlds. She did, after all, need to keep her promise to the other Broyles. He gave up his happy life with his family to allow her to come back to this side. Back to Peter. Even though, it hadn't worked out as she had hoped or even thought it would, she needed to keep that promise.

Olivia swiped at her eyes. That was it. She wouldn't cry over this anymore, over _him_ anymore. She needed to focus on the matter at hand. She wouldn't, and couldn't, let Peter have such an effect on her.

As Peter's face, flashed through her mind, she realized the throbbing ache that she felt, as whenever she thought about him recently, wasn't there. Well, it felt like it was there, but she just couldn't _feel_ it anymore. She felt a numbness, and with that, relief.

Shakily, she drew in a breath. She closed her eyes and let the air out. Nothing. No pain, no anger, nothing.

Olivia folded the newspaper carefully and placed it in the wastebasket beneath her desk.

She wasn't happy either, but feeling nothing was better than what she had been feeling before.

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**Please R&R! Thank you! 3**

**~tvnut014  
**


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